Oct 20, 2012

why we're having a destination wedding

we are exactly one week away from tying the knot

i am so excited.

all we have to do is pack our bags and make our flight.

i don't think i really ever talked much about our decision to have a destination wedding

i feel like some people are either very supportive of the fact that we've opted to take this route or there are also some people who have been...maybe not as supportive.

when bill and i first got engaged which was days before christmas, we were of course bombarded with congratulations and then the dreaded "when's the date?" as we all gathered together for chirstmas

it made me so anxious to think of some future date where months of planning would finally pay off.  i was actually very overwhelmed with the idea of planning a wedding.  as i started looking in to venues and pricing this and that all i could think about was how happy i would be after the planning process and the actual wedding would be over with.

every girl dreams of her wedding being this momentous occasion and all i could think about was it being over with.

i prepared a budget.  originally i wanted to come in somewhere around $10,000.  TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.  and that would be coming in on the cheaper side of things.  in reality i knew the budget would have to be closer to FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.  this is also excluding any sort of honeymoon.

do you know what bill and i could do with fifteen thousand dollars?  what would you do with fifteen thousand dollars?

it made me sick.  wedding invitations.  yes, they are so cute - so many cute wedding invitations out there!  but guess what - every single one i've ever received is in the trash.  the landfill.  yep.  you're precious wedding invite that you no doubt spent time debating what font to use - in the trash.

oh and the food.  i'm pretty sure i've never been to a wedding to chow down.  and i usually forget to get a piece of cake.

weddings are beautiful.  the actual wedding part.  the vows.  the exchange between two people.  everything else i don't remember.  and the bride and the groom - are so busy i can't imagine they remember the details.

i'm not trying to convince anyone to see things my way - these are just the thoughts that fill my head when i saw the price tag on catering, centerpieces, bouquets, boutonnieres, etc etc etc.  i think as a guest at a wedding you just appreciate all the small gestures but never really appreciate the time and energy that it took to put everything together.

i've also been to weddings where a lot of the details were done by the bride and the family.  and if you have that kind of help i think that's great, but i also realized early on that if i wanted to make things on my own - supplies still add up quickly.  and then you're left with empty vases, supplies, craft paper, that may never be used again and not to mention you must store all this STUFF.

i started researching destination weddings.

i realized bill and i could hop on a plane, rent a condo for a week, have a small ceremony, and just enjoy ourselves for a fraction of the cost of a traditional wedding.

no we're not getting married in a church - but does that make our love for each other any less substantial?

i feel wrought with guilt that not everyone we consider close friends and family can attend, but i am also very grateful for those who were able to find a way to come down.

my one wish for our wedding day is to be able to remember every single moment.  to not worry if my bridesmaids found the correct shoes.  if the train on my dress will get dirty.  if the food will be perfect, if everyone is having a good time and not bored.

i hope that those who are there with us enjoy themselves and enjoy our meager ceremony.  that those who are back home are wishing us love and joy and not shaming us for choosing the path we felt was right.  i love the IDEA of a wedding reception where everyone you love and care about is with you for such an important day.  but in reality i've known several brides who just didn't get to enjoy any of their hard work.  and it becomes centered around the STUFF.

at the end of the day it's really just supposed to be our day.  and yes, i'm an only child, and this is my one chance to really revel in selfishness, but i want our special day to be spent being ourselves.  not dressed in suits and long flowing gowns.  to be simple.  to be grateful for what we have.  to appreciate our time together. 

i really hope i didn't offend anyone - it wasn't my intent.  my intent was to really just say, if you're getting married any time soon, i know you are probably getting bombarded with a ton of questions about the date, the venue, the colors, etc and perhaps feeling overwhelmed with choices and price tags. and my advice is to do exactly what you want to do and can afford.  if you don't want to send out expensive invitations, don't.  find an e-service.  have an afternoon wedding with appetizers instead of a dinner.  you don't have to have an open bar.  your guests will probably thank you the next day when they're not hungover.  for goodness sake stop looking at pinterest - if you are really wanting to do everything you're pinning your wedding will be a hot mess.  and remember.  you can always elope.  love is love.  whatever you do - a big wedding, a small reception, fly away to an exotic location - that day will always be YOUR special day.

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