Feb 20, 2014

baby O

i am totally



in disbelief.


for the past 4.5 months i have daydreamed about having a son.  raising a small boy.  mud puddles and worms.

and i guess the universe thought that was pretty hilarious

because we found out yesterday we are having a GIRL!

everyone had told me, and i believed quite strongly, that since i had zero morning sickness and, in general, pregnancy symptoms were rare - that i was in for a boy. 

don't get me wrong, i am in no way upset or sad. i am just in disbelief.  i had everything planned out in my mind of how it was going to be.

and that, right there, was my wake up call - nothing, from here on out, will be the way i planned :)

bill and i kept uttering to ourselves all night last night that we are indeed, about to embark on raising a child.  i don't know why knowing the sex has now made it all the more real, but it has.  seeing our baby up on the ultrasound, fully formed, is amazing.  and seeing her face and her long legs and feet kicking at us, her brain and the chambers of her heart pumping away- is probably the greatest thing i've ever witnessed.

there's still 21 more weeks to go, and she can stay in there as long as she likes (i say that now before i've felt any good strong kicks or have gotten a much larger bump), but i cannot wait to meet our daughter.

i don't talk about it much, but i grew up with a single mom - my dad was around, but not much, and not because he didn't want to be - he was mentally ill - and i believe i'm fairly well adjusted for having that male influence missing in my life.  but it brings big, hot tears to my face thinking of my future daughter growing up with what will be the greatest dad. i had to fight back the tears as bill and i dreamed of her first daddy-daughter dance and bill walking her down the aisle one day.  she will inevitably have bill wrapped around her finger, and i can already tell how in love and excited bill is to be there and raise a confident daughter.  as much as i cannot wait to hold and love on her - i am even more excited to watch bill become daddy and to hold her for that first time.

i feel so incredibly blessed.

july will be here before we know it

and so will Lucy Frances  !!!


Feb 10, 2014

mind + body

sorry. this is long. tl;dr version :look! i'm still pregnant.  i'm feeling better. i ate bad for 3 months and didn't exercise for like 4.  but i kicked ass this weekend and got in some workouts! yay.

i find it absolutely ridiculous that i go from feeling like i have a tire around my waist and just feeling large

to one day realizing that this

this is a pregnant belly.

i wasn't really sure how my body would adapt as i already had a belly (not one that stuck out and was rounded like this though)

i kind of thought that maybe i wouldn't really look pregnant for awhile since i had a belly and the baby would just happily live in my pre-existing belly.


it just constantly amazes me how my body is changing and doing this all on it's own.

as someone who has dealt with weight loss and body image issues - i was worried how i would deal with the weight gain

and surprisingly, i am feeling really confident.  it helps that the hormones and vitamins are making my hair and skin look great, but also i just generally feel happy that there's this bump at my belly and a wiggly little baby inside.

pre-pregnancy i had all these ideas that i would continue to run/jog as long as i could.  i would eat the big leafy salads and huge bowls of fruit and be super healthy.  it's funny how those ideas get knocked on their ass once you actually are pregnant.

my first trimester wasn't spent with morning sickness, but i was plagued with severe lethargy.  i just wanted to sleep.  even if i got 9 hours of sleep at night, i could easily take a nap in the middle of the day or come home and nap on the couch before crawling in bed for the night.  so the thought of jogging was absurd let alone the fact that it gave me anxiety (i'm neurotic and basically everything that could go wrong was going to go wrong and jogging seemed like an extreme sport in those early weeks; see also - why i didn't touch caffeine for 3 months)

and while i didn't have any strong food aversions, i definitely didn't want anything green or remotely healthy.  i also didn't (still don't) want to cook.  i really just wanted a burger and fries.  i've always watched what i ate.  but for once in my life i couldn't/didn't want to have that control.  if i wanted a burger, i was going to have a burger.  i figured the cravings for vegetables and fruits would come back. 

and they did!

and my energy, while still not what i would consider normal, is slowly coming back and i feel ready to move again (and slightly less neurotic)

with the renewed energy - and probably a bit of cabin fever from all the snow - i made it a point to get back into some sort of fitness routine.

i signed up for a free trial of barre 3 online workouts - and instantly fell in love!

they offer several prenatal specific workouts as well as a whole catalog of regular workouts - and if you've never seen the barre workouts - they are a mixture of yoga, pilates, and ballet with light weights mixed in.

i ended up doing a legs and arms workout that was about 15 minutes long, and then followed it with a full body stretch 10 minute video.

soooo good.  the stretching was my favorite.

i haven't done anything for 4 months, so the weighted portions were pretty challenging - but short enough so i didn't feel like i was pushing myself too hard

highly recommend checking it out - pregnant or not - if you're looking for quick workouts to do from home

and if that wasn't enough - bill and i headed to the pool!

one of my favorite forms of exercise is water aerobics.  i never go since it always seems like a hassle to drive across town, but with bill wanting to swim too - we could go together.

doing water aerobics while pregnant is the best thing ever.  no sweating, no pounding the pavement, only the resistance of the water and your body - i was able to do all the moves - and treaded water for an hour!  the instructor introduced herself after class (it was a small class, about 4 older women, the instructor, me and bill....bill was the only male there - not sure why water aerobics is an old lady sport - it's amazing!) and encouraged us to come to some of the week day classes.  i informed her that i was pregnant and this was the most i had done in 4 months.  she gave me lots of encouragement and was well informed on moves i should avoid (for the shallow water classes -mainly ab workouts) and reinforced the fact that i had just treaded water for an hour - and that's a heck of a workout and accomplishment!

and after a game night with friends (3 pregnant women and their husbands) i woke up sunday feeling like i had been hit by a truck.  sleepy and sore.  whoops.

so i'm hoping to keep up with the barre workouts...or at least the barre stretches during the week and swimming on the weekend - no need to prove i can do both in one day!

sorry that was so long - half  "i got pregnancy feels" and half "this is what i did this weekend"


Feb 5, 2014

coffee, baby, and moose heads - oh my!

my first coffee in 4ish months.  glorious.  why did i wait so long?  coffee is a wonderful thing.  still trying to only allow myself one every once in awhile.

is the moose head creepy?  because i really want to buy it for the nursery.  i'm only slightly joking.  i kind of want this.

and of course, here's my growing belly.  it's probably the only time in my life i'm okay with my expanding waistline.  i head to the dr's tomorrow for a checkup and to hopefully schedule the anatomy scan!

i'm also starting to feel the pressure as time is starting to pass too quickly.  there is so much to do before bebe gets here - so i've started, at least, making a list of the items that i want.  this crib is exactly what i've been looking for.  i also perused consumer reports and instantly got overwhelmed.  if anyone has any insight on the eddie bauer strollers and carseats sold at target - i would love to hear it!  

and finally, i feel like winter will never end.  ice covered trees are beautiful, but only when you're in your pajamas drinking hot chocolate.  i was really hoping to stay home today, but alas, the roads were clear for driving.  again, someone remind me of this when i'm complaining about the heat and humidity this summer.