a very early morning

november 7th

5 am

i had been tossing and turning in bed for what felt like the past 3 hours

i went ahead and decided to get up - an hour and a half early

just to ease my mind

i tip toed to the bathroom, turned on the light

reached for the box, and opened it in my closet to try and stay as quiet as possible

came out of the closet and back into the bathroom - just looking at this stick
 
i sat down and maneuvered into position and then

replaced the top and sat it on the counter

3 minutes, the box said

wait 3 minutes.

i didn't bring my phone into the bathroom

so...i started counting to 20 before i felt foolish and steadily watched those two viewing windows

the first line showed up fast - bright pink

but it was that second line i was waiting on

in probably less than a minute i could see that second faint pink line shining through

i couldn't believe it

i stood there a moment longer as the line darkened

my eyes teared up with joy as i stood there taking in the moment

i was really pregnant

i turned the light out and crawled back in bed with the pregnancy test sitting on the table next to me

i thought i would just wait until bill woke up in a couple of hours

but then i couldn't take sitting there in the dark

i whispered "bill" a couple of times before i roused him awake

and then i just blurted out

"we're pregnant"

he did a sleepy double take and asked "really?"

gave me a kiss

and asked again, "really?"

i teared up again as i said yes and turned on the lamp

i showed him the test as he tried to adjust his sleepy eyes

i will never be able to forget the look of pure happiness and excitement on bill's face in that moment

unable to fall back asleep

we laid there

daydreaming of our future

our baby's future